tw numbers, intake, etc.
Intake 12/22/12 (I just really felt the urge to I’m sorry) Possible trigger warning— numbers/restriction
Intake 9/30/12. I haven’t posted in a while but idk felt the urge to :/ I don’t know if this is even a good intake and I feel extremely guilty about dinner but I guess it’s for the best… ugh
Really struggling with guilt right now :/ Last night when I got home at like 3-something AM (still somewhat drunk), I was actually hungry and I knew that eating would prevent a hangover. So I made myself a bag of microwave popcorn (a fear food) and ate almost the whole thing :// I haven’t done that since eighth grade… I don’t even count it as conquering a fear food because I was drunk enough to not care that I was doing it… I hate myself for it now, though
And now I feel incredibly guilty about what I ate for brunch on top of that. My mind is screaming at me, fatass, fatass, you’re huge, you don’t need to eat, you’re disgusting, how could you stuff your face like that, you pig!
I am going to walk 20 minutes to practice for my sport and then we’ll be swimming for like 2 hours so that should “help” me… I hope.
I haven’t posted my intake recently because I know it’s a bad idea for me to obsessively track what I eat and how much I exercise but I feel the compulsive need to do so today :/